My Alarm wakes me up. 5,4,3,2,1, throw back the covers and up I get. That was not as hard as I thought it would be. I felt great about my day before it had started. I had things to do. I wanted to do as much as I could, and I was looking forward to it.Read More »
March 4th 2019.
After watching the video of the 5-second rule, I felt energised and put things into action.
- I exercised, only for 10 minutes but I did it, and I felt great.
- I started writing again. I have always loved writing. But in my constant self-loathing, I stopped because my self-pity overwhelmed me. My writing was the start of this journal.
- I got a job! Oh yes, I did.
I have been thinking a lot about my life recently. How different it is, and how different I am. I miss the old me. The risk taker, the lover of life, the girl that did everything she wanted to do. The girl that worked hard and loved to do so.
My life used to be exciting, fun and fulfilled. Now I look at it and think “What the fluff happened?” I am now full of self-doubt, fear and self-loathing. My life does not seem to have panned out how I thought it would. I blame no one at all and never have except for myself. Read More »
The pain won’t go away in your chest. You have a gut-wrenching pull in your stomach. You are full of negative feelings, and they will not go away.
You blame yourself asking “What if I had said something different?” “What if I had done something different?” Or you are pointing the finger at someone else and playing the victim. “It is because of them, that I feel like this.” Read More »
I had a few minutes before it was time to wake the Teenagers up. I have a quick look at Facebook, and I smile as I see the ‘Timeline memories.’ I’m impressed with what I see.
That girl looks good in those photos. She is full of life, young and has a great figure. I smile at the pictures, and then the realisation hits me. Read More »