How Compliments That Are Sexist are Making the World a Better Place.

Before I turn in for a night of impressive sleep, I always read the news snippets on the reliable internet explorer.
Firstly, let me make this clear. I do not read the articles to catch up on what is happening in the world. I read them as a sleep aid. A good belly laugh before I lay myself to sleep, helps me drift off knowing there is still so much humour in the world.
Secondly, being sensitive is not a trait I have. It is with disappointment in the eyes of my family looking confused to see sensitivity.

So what could I have read a couple of nights ago that inspired me to write about it? The headline is designed to grab your attention, so well done to the writer on the headline job. I clicked on the article. Well, I would wouldn’t I? When the headline reads:

20 compliments that are actually sexist

Especially, when I love receiving compliments, and I say it is important to give compliments.

With interest, I started to read, and I did not get passed the first “sexist compliment” when I laughed out loud “Are you kidding me?” I then heard my son’s voice from his room shout “What?”
So keeping my remarks to myself I continued to read. As a 40 something-year-old female with a teenage daughter and son, reading these “compliments” I was shocked to find out I am a “sexist.” Let’s take a look at a few of these “compliments that are sexist.”

“You’re so laid back—I love that.”

“This is another way of telling a woman she’s desirable for downplaying her feelings and emotions.”

I am very laid back, or so I like to think. I personally stay away from highly strung people as it does nothing for my positive quality. The compliment does not say she is desirable. If I was to say that quote to a woman or a man it would be acceptable, but not if a man said it. Why make the presumption that the compliment is not genuine for what it is?

2 “I love that you’re not overly sensitive.”

“a great disservice to acknowledging and validating the value of a person’s emotions.”

I love it when people say that to me, it means they have noticed something in my personality. I have stood out somehow to them. They do not have to tread on eggshells around me. My emotions do not need to be validated by anyone. Maybe, just maybe someone actually likes the fact that they can be themselves with you. The article is creating over sensitive people.

love food
Photograph by Dan Gold – love food

“You really like to eat, don’t you?”

“shames a woman for appetite”

Yes, I do love to eat. don’t you? How is this shaming? If I did not eat I would die. I love food, the different flavours and textures. When I was “too skinny” according to women, I ate more than they did. I have found throughout my experiences people like eating alongside women who love food. They don’t want to be watching someone nibbling on a lettuce leaf and hearing their hunger pains from their stomach. I hate being interrupted when I am talking, and those sounds are distracting.

4 “I never knew you were so funny.”

“Telling a woman she is surprisingly funny makes light of her intelligence and creativity, and is totally sexist”

I like to think I am very funny. In fact, I am. Others may have a different opinion, that’s fair. No offence was taken. Was that me being funny? If you are intelligent that does not mean you are funny, you could be, but they do not go hand in hand. Oh, I am not saying I am not intelligent because I am funny. I am surprised all the time when someone shows a humorous side I didn’t know they had, and I will tell them they are funny. My partner was asked by a friend of his what he liked about me, he answered: “she is really funny.” See, I told you I was funny. But then again I am not sensitive so I would not have taken that comment badly.

5 “You look great! Have you lost weight?”

“No matter how well-meaning, it’s never OK to comment on a person’s size—they could have a health issue or eating disorder”

Well yes, I have lost weight, Thank you so much for noticing. No, I do not have an eating disorder or a health issue, I just desired to lose some excess fat. I have recently purposely put weight on, and the popular comment is “you look really healthy, you must be happy.” I don’t see that as sexist, it is actually true. Though I have gone too far with the weight gain. I am hoping I will soon get that “sexist compliment,” said to me.

Jumping for joy.
Photograph by Sebastian Voortman – Jumping For Joy

These were just a small selection I picked from the article. Let’s say there are some people in the world that genuinely give compliments. They have no ulterior motive. Now we make all this fuss, double guessing the words said, making assumptions of a hidden meaning. We all know political correctness has gone mad, but to attack compliments. Enough now with this nonsense. The article is putting ideas into your mind that you should be upset with these compliments. I say, NO! NO MORE! GIVE ME THE COMPLIMENTS. I LOVE THEM.

They make me realise I was noticed in your world today. someone was kind enough to say something nice to me. If we all go around looking for a hidden meaning that is not there, how insecure will you become? Who will be the first to be hurt as no compliments come their way as people become fearful of being branded ” The sexist complimenter?”

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